Friday, October 30, 2009

with a feeling of guilt....

Today's Mood: Guilty as HELL!!!


To my lovely dear sister.... Sara... I am really truly deeply sorry.... I didn't mean to forget your bday... Really, I am So SOOOOOORRRRRYYYY!!!! Not that I forgot, but I am not the kind of person that remembers these things... The post below was when I just opened up a blog, therefore, I really did forget to put in your name....

With this feeling of guilt.... this made me realize:


I am not a good sister


I am not a good friend either


I am not a good person



Bcoz I realize, not only did I not remember when Sara's bday is, but a lot of other people as well... Falzal's bday.... Amin Monopose... and probably a bunch of other people as well... what kinda person forgets these things... what kind of friend am I.... not a very good one... and the guilty feeling from something that happened like 20-30 minutes ago made me realize that... no wonder people see me as someone bad... no wonder people always say that I always look guilty.. because I am..

I'm guilty for not being a good friend

I'm guilty for not being a good sister

I'm guilty for not being a good person


No one to blame but myself....

oh n one more thing


R.I.P. Brian Picone... you're always known to be a great loving guy



~~Way to go Farah! -.- u shud b in bars~~

Monday, October 26, 2009

How bad the word 'pretend' is...

Today is the start of everyone's final exam. The UNITEN's students are all busy studying and taking their final exams. Some are taking their final final exams, as in after this, they would graduate and go on with a working life; and some are taking their sem's final exams where the next semester, there would be another time to take other kinds of final exams.

My finals start on Wednesday. This Wednesday I will be taking my Macro final exam. By the 6th November 2009 I would finish up my 2nd year degree. Next semester will be the start of my final year... How do I feel about that??? "LAakxkseqodnlxzza;kssldgjroepp["... exactly, no words to describe the feeling that I have. It's more like a dream than reality. BECAUSE the truth is, I am not ready to face the working world. In other words, I'm not ready to face reality. Especially when this means I will have more responsibilities, having to look for a job, yada yada yada, etc... no more using your parents money instead, we have to go look for money to give to our parents. To repay back all that they have done and all. Oh I just found a word for it, "DAMN".... that's the word, "DAMN".

Anyhu, so, today... Studied Macro since Macro's final exam is this Wednesday, but didn't really study. More like looking at the paper with a blank look on my face. Then after the so called 'studying', went home n SLEPT!! YES, that's right, I SLEPT!!!it was good to sleep and not think about anything but dream. So slept for like 2 hours I think and then went out to eat...

The word 'pretend' comes to mind a lot. I realized that when we have known somebody for like a long period of time, we tend to have moments where we would pretend. We pretend to be OK, pretend to be mad, pretend to be sad, pretend to be tired or lazy. However,the word 'pretend' gets really bad WHEN we pretend to be a friend. Pretending to be the bestest of friends or just pretending to like that person. This word is like acid. When we know someone that pretends, it hurts to see or even hurts to call them our friends. I know that one of my friends is right now going through a stage where she wants to change and become someone new. HOWEVER, when we change, we don't forget the people that were with us during our worst of times. We cherish them. Not putting them aside when we have gone through a good transformation and thinking they were the cause for our downfall. Those people that were by our side when we were not at our best, are the people that we should call friends and think of them as family. Because without them, who would really accept us for who we are. The people that suddenly becomes our friends when we have transformed, those people are the ones we need to put aside n be careful of. Pretending is harsh and sad, no one should pretend, its just bad.

Gonna go study now. TATA~~~!!!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Today's story


Today is my best frends bday.... NORFATHIN ROSLEY!!! hehehe.. happy bday 2 u buddy... she is now 21 years old... hahaha, she's allowed to drink n play. hahaha... i think she can vote now.. hehehehe... not sure... anyhu, well, its her bday today...

ok, lemme countdown how many presents I owe....

5th April : my lovely sis bday (paid for movies bt havent gotten her anything)
6th April : Hanee's bday (havent gotten her anything)

21st Sept: Chuya (havent gotten her anything)
Izza (havent gotten her anything)

1st Oct : Falzal's bday (havent gotten him anything)
11th Oct : Fathin's bday (havent gotten her anything)


so all in all there are 6 presents that I owe... the prob is I dont have the income to get them anything just yet... so they have to wait till I have the money to buy something. hahahaha...


my lunch for today is a very sad lunch indeed.... nasi + kicap + pedal = still hungry!! hahahaha.. o well, be patient, later2 i'll get something to munch on... hehehehe...

till the next blog we meet...

I realized something

Today is the 10th october.... One of ma sis (jr), she got the maxis free call the entire day today and since she's not using it, she gave us to use it. So ape lagi.... guna abes2 la.. hehehe... we called a bunch of people.... n it made me realize that if a couple of my friends from over the seas were here, id call them up and ask if they're ok or not... hehehe, called my police bro, my frend Danny, my juniors, Falzal my friend with benefit.. hahaha, called amin monopose... hehehe... monopose monopose....

i miss them... oh n i owe them as well... I wanted to buy them dinner or something, probbly one day I will. Coz theyve been real nice in checking out if there were tickets from KTN to KL.. hehehe, n i feel like i owe them for their kindness. I really do hope that they make it in the world of artists. their songs are not that bad, they're pretty good. One day, they'll be big n when they reach that level, I hope they don't forget their friends n fans.. hahaha...


in 2 weeks time are my finals... yay! finals... woah, havent studied.... said I wanted to be a nerd, but havent reached that term yet. Wanted to study my butt off, but my butt havent fallen off yet. Hahaha, gee, I always wished that I was like some other people who likes to study during their free time n if they feel bored, take out a book n just read. Im not like that, my free time is all about SLEEP N SLEEP N SLEEP... hahaha, n listen to songs n wat not... anyhu, hopefully I have the eagerness n will to study coz I dont wanna make ma parents look down on me especially when they have high expectations of me. anyhu, hopefully I do well this sem, especially when nex sem is the start of my final year. FINAL YEAR~~~!!! DAMN~~!!!~~~~ OMG~~~~!!!~~~~~ ok, dont wanna think about it now. think about it later. anyhu, till the nex blog we meet.