Saturday, March 14, 2015

Does being pregnant make you feel pretty or just insecure?

I am now 34 weeks... 6 weeks to go till the big day. Excited, scared, mixed emotions really... For those who are pregnant, this is the week where back aches, headaches, ligament pains, and muscle cramps will frequently happen and for some this is the moment where you'd just wish for the baby to come out. 

As for me, this will be my second baby. Scanned and checked, it will be a baby boy. So I will be having two sons. As happy as I am, I know that this will also mean less sleep, more stress, requirement of excessive energy (I mean chasing after two boys will not be a walk in the park) and of course, making sure to provide all their needs.

So as my title states, being pregnant, does it make you feel pretty or just insecure? Well, to be honest with you, when I was first pregnant with my first child, no doubt I thought it was the greatest gift life can give and I felt I was the prettiest woman in the world and no one can replace me because well my husband pays extra attention to me. However, when I found out I was pregnant the second time, I didn't have the same confidence in my beauty as I did the first time. For some reason, it made me feel extra nervous because based on my family history, looking at the pictures, every woman in my family, after having their second child, they literally blew up. I mean, they blew up in their size. THEIR HIPS! THEIR BUTTOCKS! My husband knowing this, has countless of times warned me to take care of my body once this baby comes out because it's kinda shameful to have a wife with two kids yet a body like an elephant. Ok, it's harsh but he's right though. Ladies, if your husbands tell you that they accept you for who you are no matter how big you get, well, just remember, would you rather take care of your body and your husbands' eyes on you and only you or, you let it all go and your husbands' eyes on someone young and smashing. 

INSECURITY! WHICH I rarely have, I mean, I am usually confident. Sometimes too confident. LOL. Anyways, insecurity... When I found out I was pregnant 4 months, that's when I noticed my husband looking at me in a different way. And this isn't the same look he had when we first found out we were gonna be parents for the first time, this look  was more of a worried 'what will my wife look like with two kids'. That's when I started being really worried that my husband will look for another. Ok, he's not that kinda guy and it's just my feelings, but, seriously, ever since I saw that look, I can't keep myself away for too long from my husband. Even when he went to the bathroom, thoughts of what is taking my husband so long, is he texting someone in there, is he secretly calling someone. Reality, he is just doing his business in the bathroom but to me everything he does is just suspicious. So these are just signs of insecurity because the fact is, he is just doing what every husband normally does, go to work, come home, have a light conversation and sleep. 

Whenever he touches his cell, I keep thinking is he looking for someone else. Is he texting someone because he is getting bored of me. Gosh, I seriously hate this feeling of being insecure. I am usually confident and calm  but because of this insecurity, sometimes I'd get into a heated argument wth him. THANK GOODNESS he is an understanding person.


Reality is ladies, when you are pregnant, your hormones will go overboard. I mean seriously crazy. Every women would go through a different phase of pregnant symptoms but what is common between us all is our hormones. Whether we eat too much or sleep too much or have crazy jealous feelings (such as I do), what we need to do is control it. If you are like me, then you definitely need to suppress those feelings and let it out in a bathroom or something because if you go through with these negative emotions it might lead to a negative consequence. I suggest, whenever you feel your husband is not being fair or isn't romantic enough, or if you feel your husband looks at you with disgust, take a deep breath and keep telling yourself that it is all in your head and your crazy hormones. Take another deep breath, and just let it go and do things normally. Always make silly jokes and talk calmly with your husbands because it's not just you who's going through a big change in life, so are they. For them, it's extra stressful because as a father, he is responsible in raising the family right, providing not only your children's needs but your needs too. As a Muslim, not only is the men responsible financially but spiritually as well. So the next time you feel insecure, just remind yourself that you are carrying a gift of life.


DIE INSECURITY FEELING AND ALWAYS FEEL BEAUTIFUL, WHETHER YOU ARE PREGNANT OR NOT.

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